I've had love on my mind lately for a lot of different reasons. Obviously it's valentines day coming up and I've been singing songs with love in them for the boys often. It's also been 5 years since Jacob and I started dating, so we've been talking about what brought us together and how we will work on our love to make sure we never leave each other. We moved into our new home, which I love. It's perfect for us, and since the first day we moved in, I can be found just smiling. This is where my boys will grow up. This is where their lives will be shaped and hopefully, this is where they will always be filled with love. But the biggest push for my love thoughts comes through potty training. I've been potting training Christopher for over a month now. I know I'm crazy and I've asked myself many times why I endeavored it, there are a lot of reasons but the biggest that I hold onto is that the idea came to me strongly in the temple. There must be a reason that I cannot see and it gives me strength to know if I do my best I will have help from above. That being said, this has been the hardest thing for me, but it's taught me a lot about love.
In my perspective we've come to this life to learn how to love deeply, care for others completely, and truly become like our Heavenly Father we must learn to love as His Son loves us. While potty training Christopher I was cried and screamed at for days it seemed. I was trying my hardest to help my son conquer this big step in his life, and he screamed at me. It got me thinking that this is what the pure love of Christ is all about. Loving someone who hates you. I'm sorry to say that there have been times this past month that I've had to pray to love my child. He would take away all the patience and love I had for him, but I was still suppose to smile at him and congratulate him while he screamed at me. It was hard. But I've learned one valuable lesson, when we pray to truly love someone, to have patience for them, our prayers are answered. There have been days when it was ok that was cleaning poopy underwear after poopy underwear. I could smile and say, you'll get it next time, all because of answered prayers.
It's really made me think of my relationship with my Savior. How many times have I cried and asked why, when He's just trying to help me through a big step in my life? How many times is His arm extended to me, when I have only pushed it way countless times? He is so loving and patient with me as I try to figure out life, and asks only to love others in return. And not only that, but He will help me love them when my emotions are just too raw and I can't muster up the strength to care for them anymore. His example of love is what has been on my mind, surrounding my life this past month, and I couldn't be more appreciative of it.
