I've been thinking about my image for a while; how I see myself and how others see me. Like most women I was/am concerned with how I look. Mostly am I skinny enough? Then I stopped and thought about it. Why do I want to be skinny? My answer was mostly so those who saw me would think, "She has two kids? She looks great." Also, I wanted those who knew Jacob well to think, "Wow, he really picked a winner!" I thought some more about why skinny was so desirable. What makes women go to great lengths to be skinny?
The answer I think is at the core: To appeal to men's desires. Yes, women want to look good for their friend's comments and such, but society is that way because someone decided that you were only desirable if you are skinny. You know what I have to say about that? Who cares; I don't want to be an object. I have a husband who loves me for ME and not because of my weight. Which lead to me think about some friends that I have who are amazing. Why are they amazing? It's not how they look, it's how they act. It's who they are. Their funny, smart, and make people feel good. That's how I want to be remembered. I told Jacob my theory and he agreed, "You don't think of (our friend) and think, she'd be so much nicer if she were skinnier. No, you think she's a fun person to be around."
I figure if I stop worrying about how others think of me and stop putting myself down because I'm heavier than all the women in the room, I can be myself. And when I'm myself I'll be happier and I'll be able to truly get to know and love more people. I feel this is how my Heavenly Father would have me think of myself. Instead of, "Hi I'm Cassanda, I'm a size 15." I'm going to try and think, "Hi, I'm Cassanda, I'm a wife, mother, craft and cook wannabe. I like to read children books and watch chick flicks. I love laughter to fill my home, and can usually relate to everyone on some level."
I can't tell you how much peace this has brought into my life and home. When I don't spend so much energy worrying about my image, I can keep the house cleaner, be a better mom, a more thoughtful wife. And
that's what I really want to my image to be.
Steven did. Even after I tried to get him excited about seeing our jolly friend, this was as close as he came.
He did tell us the reason: "That boy (pointing at our friend's son) sat on his lap and cried." There's no fooling this kid.
He only does it occasionally, but it's a start!
And life as we know it will never be the same...
Yep, it's been pretty darn good.
I know I'm a little late for a post about a 9 month boy of mine, but 10 months is just as good right? At Christopher's 9 month appointment he was in the 75 percentile for his head circumference, 30 percentile for his height, and 13 percentile for weight. Which is hard to believe for when you look at his chubby cheeks, but it's true. You also wouldn't believe that when you see how much he eats, he must have the Morrise metabolism. This morning we had oatmeal from the packets and we all had 2 packets, that's including Christopher. He loves to eat, and is now eating everything we are eating during meals, which is quite handy for me! Though his favorites are bread, fruit of any kind, and yogurt.
Yes, he did put his arm like that all by himself!
