Motherhood

I've been reading a lot of great books and articles that have helped me find joy in my job as a mother. I've gone from simply trying to survive my days to truly enjoying the time I get to spend with my children. My favorite book was "A Mother's Book of Secrets" by Linda Eyre and Shawni Eyre Pothier (mother and daughter). It's filled with ideas that have helped them find joy in being a mother. A lot of ideas my children are too young to try with, but more than anything I saw how much these women loved being mothers and enjoyed being with their kids. And I wanted that. I disliked the fact that I had to count down the hours to nap time or bed time. What changed that for me?

I stop what I'm doing and PLAY with my kids, LISTEN to them, LOVE them.

I was trying to get too much done during the day and therefore brushed my kids aside so I could get the house clean. I learned it's ok if the clothes stay in the dryer an extra hour or day even. The other day I told Steven I was going to fold some laundry, to which he said, "no launry" I insisted that I needed to do it. He again tried to hold me back and said, "no launry." So I listened to him. He led me into the bathroom where we shut the door and turned off the light and played with a light-up toy for 30 minutes. We drew pictures in the air, we hid it, we saw how high we could throw it. I loved it. I'm so glad I listened to him and didn't do the laundry, because it did get done eventually. We probably had to give it an extra 10 minutes to get the wrinkles out, but the fact is: I thoroughly enjoyed Steven. And that's what really matters.

Yes, it's hard for me to leave the big mess in the kitchen and follow Steven in his room to read to him, but it's made all the difference in our days. And you know what? When I do spend more time with him when he's tugging at me, he lets me have the time to cook dinner, or fold the laundry. (For the most part) We've become a happier more productive family.

Another thought that I've loved and gives me a new light to motherhood I found on my friend's blog where her sister mentions,

"When I dress my children, I am clothing the naked. When I feed my children, I am feeding the hungry. When I take care of my children, I am doing what the Savior asks me to do."

How can I think my job as boring, hard, and mundane when I look at it in this way? My job is service, rewarding, and noble. I know it's hard sometimes. This Sunday I was coming home from my parent's house in Idaho, and I dreaded it. I didn't want to come back and have to keep up a home. It's hard work. And yes, all three of us were crying in the car on our way back to Utah. (Jacob had to stay and work) But that still doesn't mean it's not all worth it. I am doing what my Father in Heaven wants me to do. What I was destined to do. Everything in me wants to give everything I have to my family. I just need to remember it when I'm driving down that hard stretch of road.