Marching On

I have a secret to tell you.  It might even rock your world, I sure hope it doesn't though.  Are you ready?

I'm not a super mom, and I'm not a super woman. 

Whew that feels good to get off my chest.  I know what some of you believe, and I guess you are entitled to your opinion, but I just need you to know the truth.  I know that if you ask me how we're doing, I won't give you the doom and gloom because I honestly try to be optimistic, but I'm afraid that has created some to think that I just can handle any situation.  I can't.  Not alone. Some ask how I do it all.  The truth?  I don't.  There are many times during the day that I wonder if we are doing a favor to our sons being so close together or a disservice.  I'm unable to give them the attention I think each one needs and deserves. And my house?  I'm barely keeping it together.  Oh and on top of that Jacob is stretched to his limits both emotionally and physically at work.  So when we have had weeks like these past ones, which have been rough with a capital R, where Jacob and I aren't sure how we are still surviving.  I've taken solace in this song:  Marching On by One Republic.  

I found this song from another friend's blog and instantly loved it, and when we had a free song download I went straight to this one.  But Jacob isn't a fan of One Republic, so I almost forgot we had it until I started running recently.  (I'm doing the program "couch to 5K" to try and get back into shape.) It came up once when I was having a hard time finding the motivation to keep going and it literally brought me to tears when I thought of Jacob and my life together.  This past couple of weeks I've repeated the words in my head when it seems to hard to keep going:

For those days we felt like a mistake,

Those times when love's what you hate,

Somehow,

We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn't be there,

I've made it harder to know that you know,

That somehow,

We'll keep moving on.

There's so many wars we fought,

There's so many things we're not,

But with what we have,

I promise you that,

We're marching on,

(We're marching on)

(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,

There isn't a flag I'd wave,

Don't care if we bend,

I'd sink us to swim,

We're marching on,

(We're marching on)

(We're marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,

For those lives that tear at the seams,

We know,

We're not what we've seen,

For this dance we'll move with each other.

There ain't no other step than one foot,

Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,

There's so many things we're not,

But with what we have,

I promise you that,

We're marching on,

(We're marching on)

(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,

There isn't a flag I'd wave,

Don't care if we bend,

I'd sink us to swim,

We're marching on,

(We're marching on)

(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,

Right, right, right, right left right,

Right, right,

We're marching on.

We'll have the days we break,

And we'll have the scars to prove it,

We'll have the bonds that we save,

But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,

For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,

We move like we ain't got no other,

We go when we go,

We're marching on.

There's so many wars we fought,

There's so many things we're not,

But with what we have,

I promise you that,

We're marching on,

(We're marching on)

(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,

Right, right, right, left, right,

Right, right,

We're marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,

Right, right, right, left, right,

Right, right,

We're marching on.

Jacob and I are so imperfect, but together we can live this life that we've been given.  And while we are barely able to put one foot in front of another, we have some pretty awesome scenery and times to remember.

Like these boys who escaped into the garage to play with our new stroller

(sit and stand for $20! thank you garage sales)

Steven coming up to me and saying,

"Hi dear.  I'm daddy"

"Mom, I'm daddy so I get to eat all the treats I want"

We had a great time at a baptism for our niece.  I failed to get a picture of how beautiful she looked, but I did steal these from my mom's phone.  It was hot at the park and these kids found joy in playing in the water.

We also had a fun get together with some of my cousins.  

Our brothers-in-law helping out by feeding and putting our babies to sleep

This kid (Ryan) and his adorable sad face.

(pretty sure Jacob was refusing to give him some food)

And turning around to find Max sucking his thumb 

There isn't anyone else that I'd rather be by my side as we take this hard but so incredible journey with than Jacob.  (It should also be told how much Heavenly help I'm certain we are receiving)   Nope, we're not super awesome and our life is emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting, but somehow we're still marching on.